


Falling

by Ava_now



Series: Barollins AU [7]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anal Fingering, F/M, Falling In Love, Love, Oral Sex, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, lots of smut, more smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:53:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24632614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: He made his way over to her and perched himself  against the dresser.  “You look phenomenal tonight, if I haven’t mentioned it to you,” he said, tilting his head to the side and smirking.“Oh, you have,” she replied, “a few times, already.”  She bounced on the bed a couple times, then kicked her shoes off.  “It was really nice of you to get this hotel room tonight for us.  It’s beautiful.”  She stood up and slowly walked the few steps to him.  Putting her hands on his biceps, she asked, “So what did you have in mind for us now?”
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Amanda Rollins
Series: Barollins AU [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760629
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! In case you missed the forty eight tags saying so, this is chock full of smut. Don't say I didn't warn you! I can't say it's all really good smut, but it's there. I will say that these two characters love sex, and are enjoying falling in love with each other. So this is what they do in their spare time.
> 
> Seriously, I do hope you enjoy reading this! If so, please consider kudos or comments--they make your author here SO happy! 
> 
> Thanks again!

Taking her hand, Rafael led Amanda quickly down the hallway to their suite. He could feel his adrenaline pumping, and when he glanced back at her, her cheeks were flushed and she was smiling sexily at him. He’d been waiting for this moment ever since he’d picked her up tonight for the Dean’s graduation party and saw her in that dress. He’d always thought she was attractive, and since they started dating, he’d found her incredibly sexy and appealing. But tonight, in that dress…

_ “Wafi-Taffy!” Jesse had launched herself into his arms before he could even shut the door behind him, and he laughed. “You an’ Momma are gonna have fun tonight?” _

_ “I certainly hope so,” he said, nodding to the sitter, Aliyah. Aliyah laughed, shook her head, and picked up a magazine to thumb through. He felt a tug at the bottom of his slacks and carefully put Jesse down to pick up her sister. “Hello, sweet baby girl,” he greeted her, then kissed her nose. “It’s so nice to see you too!” The baby giggled and pressed her open mouth to his cheek. _

_ Amanda appeared from the hallway then, and for a second he thought he’d forgotten how to breathe. She was wearing a short, silver, sleeveless, curve-hugging dress that sparkled. Her silver heels made their height almost equal. Tiny earrings and a delicate gold necklace completed her look. She was spellbinding, and he swallowed hard. “You look gorgeous,” he told her as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. The light scent of her perfume was heady, and he suddenly wished they could skip the party and go straight to the hotel he’d reserved for the night. _

_ “Thank you,” she returned, smiling confidently, and he suddenly realized the sexiest thing she was wearing was that confidence. She knew she was beautiful, sexy tonight, and he was damn lucky to be the one with her. _

With fumbling hands, he unlocked the hotel room door and held it open so she could enter. She sashayed into the room, taking her time, before tossing her evening bag onto the dresser and sitting on the bed. He knew he was grinning at her and wondered if he looked a bit like a predator preparing to feast on his prey. He made his way over to her and perched himself against the dresser. “You look phenomenal tonight, if I haven’t mentioned it to you,” he said, tilting his head to the side and smirking.

“Oh, you have,” she replied, “a few times, already.” She bounced on the bed a couple times, then kicked her shoes off. “It was really nice of you to get this hotel room tonight for us. It’s beautiful.” She stood up and slowly walked the few steps to him. Putting her hands on his biceps, she asked, “So what did you have in mind for us now?”

He raised his head and exhaled through his nose, slow. She was playing with him now, and he loved it. They’d never teased each other like this, but if she was all in, so was he. “Oh honey,” he said as though he were speaking the obvious, “I’m about to blow your mind.”

Her eyebrows shot up at that, eyes wide, and he grinned fully before leaning in to sink a hand into her hair as he bent down to suck on her neck. He heard her gasp, felt her shift her legs, and he rested his empty hand on her ass to pull her closer. His mouth moved slowly from her neck up to her earlobe, nipping and sucking. “You’re absolutely divine, mi amor. Te voy a joder sin sentido,” he purred in her ear. (I’m going to fuck you senseless)

Her hands had been squeezing his biceps, moving up and down his upper arms, feeling the muscles tighten and flex there. “I don’t know what you just said,” she confessed breathily, “but somehow I have the feeling it’s a very good idea.”

He grinned at her again before sliding his mouth against hers, tongue slipping against her own, tasting her. His hands kneaded her ass as she slid her palms over his biceps, shoulders, and down his back. He pressed his groin firmly against her, feeling himself stiffening more by the second, and she groaned.

“Rafa.” She had pulled away just enough to murmur his name and slip her hands between them, wrestling with the front of his trousers as she kissed him. Her teeth nipped his bottom lip gently, then she sucked on it slightly before stepping back from him. Staring into his eyes, she slowly made her way to the floor, pulling his trousers down with her.

“Jesus,” he murmured, as her fingers caught the sides of the waistband of his underwear, then tugged them down. His cock sprang free, fully erect, and she caught it in her hand before swirling her tongue around the head and sucking him in. Her eyes were still focused on his face, and he couldn’t look away from her as she sucked him further down. He gently reached down and unclipped her hair, watching it cascade over her shoulders as she continued to bob back and forth. Knowing that she enjoyed this with him, that she had made a point of telling him she wanted to share this with him, made it all the more pleasurable. She was beautiful, he thought, watching her work and feeling zigzags of pleasure shoot back and forth through his groin. He slowly stroked her hair away from her face, still watching her gaze at him. He felt her fingers start to gently massage his balls, and he moaned. The feeling was exquisite, and he couldn’t help but close his eyes for a moment, lost in the pleasure of it all. “Amanda,” he finally said softly, “honey, come here...I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.”

She let him go with a pop and a smirk. “Isn’t that what you wanted?” she asked him innocently, stroking the wet shaft before gently squeezing the base and fondling his balls.

“I don’t think that’s what YOU want,” he replied, touching her hair. “The reality is I’m forty-five, and one good shot a night is pretty much all I get these days.” Seeing her smirk, he added, “No pun intended.”

“In that case,” she mused, and stood up, still wearing her dress. “Can you help me with this?” She turned around and motioned toward the zipper. She lifted her hair and he carefully slid the zipper down, revealing more creamy, beautiful skin. She slid the dress down and stepped out of it, but before she could turn around, he cupped her breasts in his hands, then leaned forward and sucked her neck again. 

Pulling her body back, firm against his, he murmured, “You’re beautiful. So sexy, Amanda. Tan perfecta. Me vuelves loca.” (so perfect. You drive me crazy.) One of his hands wandered slowly down her body stroking, feeling warm skin, before settling over her vulva. He heard, felt her high pitched whimper as his fingers slid inside of her panties and gently stroked her slit, before slipping inside her. He moved it slowly in a circular motion before withdrawing it and bringing it to his own mouth. Sucking on her essence, he felt another thrill go through him and a desire to bury his tongue inside her. “‘Manda...so good, honey--”

She tangled one hand around his arm, bringing his hand back to her sex. “More, Rafa,” she whimpered. “I need more...please, baby, please more…” He slipped two fingers back inside of her and felt her arch her back as they both moaned softly. He pumped his fingers, then gently fondled a nipple with his other hand while he continued licking and kissing her ear. After a minute, he removed his fingers and eased her around and down to the bed. Kneeling on the floor he pulled a knee over each of his shoulders, then kissed the crotch of her panties. Watching her over her belly, he smirked. “You’re gonna forget your name before I’m done.” And with that, he eased her panties down and off of her body.

Rafael smiled to himself as he picked up one slender foot. Her toenails were painted a soft pink, and he gently circled her big toe with his tongue, then sucked it. He’d always enjoyed it when lovers had played, touched, massaged, and kissed his feet, and he was curious if Amanda would enjoy it. She wasn’t pulling away yet, so he sucked a little more firmly, then popped it out of his mouth. “Do you like that, sweetheart? Does it feel good?”

She looked down at him with a sleepy, sexy smile. “Everything you do feels good, guapo,” she said breathily. “You’re gonna make me come before I get to feel you inside me, aren’t you?”

He laughed, then licked her instep and sucked on the top of her foot. “That’s the plan, hermosa.” He ran a tongue slowly up the smooth skin of her calf before nipping lightly behind her knee. She was moaning softly, and he knew she had to be as aroused as he was. His cock was hanging heavy between his thighs, and he had to distract himself from the thought of immediately standing and thrusting inside of her heat. Giving his shaft a couple of quick pumps, he leaned forward and began to nip and kiss random spots on her thigh, moving forward slowly. Impulsively, he reached toward her and traced her opening with his index finger. “So beautiful, honey...you’re so fucking beautiful.” He licked her outer folds lovingly before parting her gently with his fingers and tasting her wetness. She was moaning his name, and he felt her fingers begin to stroke his hair as he lapped and sucked at her clit.

“Like that, Rafa...yes, guapo, just like that,” Her fingers tangled in his hair and she tilted his head toward the right. He let her propel him, then sucked again. She tugged in rhythm to his sucking, punctuating every few seconds with a sigh or a gasp, until he suddenly stopped. He felt her let go of his hair as he kissed her thigh and peered over her belly at her.

“Reach into that nightstand drawer. There’s something in there that might be of interest to you.” 

She looked at him quizzically while pulling open the drawer and reaching inside. He continued to kiss her thigh as she retrieved a small bottle of lube. “This?” she asked. “Cherry flavored, huh?”

He smirked at her as she handed it to him, then looked at her more seriously. “Are you open to trying some? It’s supposed to be a warming liquid. I’ve never used one before, but I thought it might be interesting to try...unless you don’t want to. I’m good either way.”

She caught his hand in hers. “I actually have used a warming liquid before, although not a cherry one, but I’m game.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by putting too much on…” He was squeezing the lube onto his fingers, then rubbing it around. “Can you just let me know if it starts to be too much?”

She laughed. “I guess so. Although it would really be a shame if it was and you needed to stay down there for awhile more to fix it…”

“Ha ha,” he replied, gently applying some of the liquid with his fingers. “How’s that?”

“Hmm. A little warm. You can put on more. It’s okay.”

Rafael applied another couple drops of the liquid, then gently circled his fingers inside of her until she sighed. “Is that good?” he asked softly, and at her hum, he licked at her again. She tasted like artificial cherry, warm and slick, mixed with the heady scent of her arousal. He circled her clit with his tongue again, trying to get a better taste, when she gasped and pressed her hips forward and up, toward his mouth. “You do like that, huh?” he commented, then proceeded to continue circling with his tongue.

“Jesus Christ,” she whispered, grabbing his hair more roughly this time. “God, yes, Rafi. Don’t stop...Jesus…” She readjusted herself, with the soles of her feet on his shoulders. “Please God, yes...right there...oh God...yes, don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop…” The grip she had on his head was tight, and he didn’t dare move an inch other than the grin he was trying to control. A moment later she cried out loudly--louder than he’d ever heard her before--and he continued to circle her clit until she stopped yanking on his head.

He gently eased back onto his shins and she eased back onto the bed fully, wobbly-legged all the way. He ran a hand roughly through his hair, then squeezed a little more lube onto his fingers and climbed on the end of the bed, moving up after her.

He slid on the sheet beside her, then reached over to draw random lines and shapes on her torso with the lube. Amanda stretched, arching her chest, then caught the headboard with her hands. “Come here and fuck me now,” she teased, arching toward him again. “Don’t you want to? I know I’ve been waiting to feel that cock all night.”

“Hmm,” he replied as he leaned down to trace the lube with his tongue. “You sure you’re ready for that? Do you need a minute to recover?” He winked before adding, “I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Don’t worry, baby,” she told him, sitting up and catching his face in her hands. “I’m pretty sure I can handle anything you can give me.” She reached in between them and grasped his cock, swiping the precum off the tip with her thumb, then stroking it. “Even this.”

He found a grin overtaking his face yet again as he leaned forward and kissed her slowly, deeply. She continued to stroke his thick shaft as they kissed, tongues tasting and entangling, until he finally stopped, resting his forehead against hers as she kept rubbing him. “You have a preference in position?” he managed to get out. God, he felt good...like every nerve in his body was alive.

She giggled softly at that. “I want to ride you. Will that work?”

He nodded. “Sounds good to me. Condoms are--”

“In the drawer,” she completed, smiling and nodding at the drawer she had pulled the lube from. “Lay back.”

Rafael moved over until he was sitting against the headboard, with a pillow behind his back. “This okay?” he asked. “Or I can lay down if you want…”

“You’re very agreeable,” she commented, opening the condom wrapper. “Whatever you like, baby. I just want to ride you.” She reached over and swiped the precum off his tip one more time, slipping her finger into her mouth and raising an eyebrow at him. “You taste good,” she explained, shrugging her shoulders. Then she slid the condom on him, straddled him, and slowly worked her way down.

They both let out soft groans. “You’re so thick, Rafael,” she whispered, resting her forehead against his as she sat still for a moment. “Feels good.”

He wanted to move but fought the instinct, waiting for her lead. “You like that? Like my cock?”he gasped, trying to sound confident but sounding more desperate. She rolled her hips slowly, and his breath caught in his throat until he cleared it. “You’re good too,” his voice rumbled. “Tight. Hot. Always feels good, ‘Manda…”

“Mmm,” she moaned softly, and continued to roll her hips, more rhythmically now. He rested his wide hands on her waist and leaned forward to kiss her, and she rose up slightly, then slid down on him again. His moans joined hers immediately, and after a moment, he thrust upward into her as she came down onto him, and the next thing he knew they were fucking in rhythm, her rising up as he settled back, and him thrusting forward as she dropped down and rolled her hips. One of his hands rose up into her hair, gently pulling her head to the side so he could kiss her. Her mouth was open and greedy for him, and his hot tongue joined hers immediately. It took no time for a soft sheen of sweat to slick their bodies into moving even more quickly, and when their mouths separated for air, her lips found his ear. “You fuck me so well,” she gasped, as he swore his mind emptied and all he knew was her heat, her hands, and the lovely, filthy language filtering into his ear. “I love your dick, and your tongue...I love fucking you, Rafael...I love when you fuck me...I love being with you...I love coming with you...Jesus...fuck…” 

Somewhere in there his fingers had made their way between her folds, playing erratically with her clit, and he swore she was squeezing him even tighter. “‘Manda...Jesus...I love you,” he cried suddenly, clutching one of her hips and thrusting fully. Spasms of pleasure blinded him and he felt her body rocking on his, and he wasn’t sure for a minute if he was really echoing a chant of  _ I love you  _ until he started to come back to himself and felt his mouth forming the words.

He was holding her loosely, and her head was resting on his shoulder as her body continued to shudder every few seconds. Absently, he stroked her back, the soft sheen of sweat dampening his palms. For a moment, this moment, the world felt so perfect. He was exactly where he was supposed to be, with exactly who he was supposed to be with. And God, in this moment, did he love her.

He felt her softly nuzzle his neck, then move off of his body and collapse onto the bed next to him. He exhaled heavily, then leaned over and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Be right back,” he whispered, holding onto the edges of the condom, then made his way into the bathroom.

When he returned, she was lying on her side, watching him cross the room. “I never realized how beautiful you were when we worked together,” she said as her eyes scanned his body. “I had no idea what you were hiding under those fancy suits of yours. I was a fool not to notice.”

He smiled crookedly. “Well, you know now...I’m just glad you seem to like what you see.” She opened her arms and he slid into them, kissing her nipple. “I’m absolutely outclassed here, anyway. You take my breath away. I hope you know that.”

“Outclassed,” she laughed to herself. She stroked his hair. “I never realized your eyes were so green. They’re beautiful. And these biceps--” She squeezed one of his biceps as he nipped her shoulder. “How much time do you spend on these each week, anyway?” She continued to squeeze until he startled to giggle. She moved her fingers under his armpit, tickling, until they were both giggling, and somehow ended up with him on his back and Amanda perched over him. She sighed happily. “I love you, Rafael. I know I’m not good at saying or showing it, but I do. I love you.” She traced her fingers through his chest hair, following the whorls and tugging randomly, before settling on a nipple and squeezing. “This chest, too. So beautiful. Sexy.” She bit his nipple gently and grinned. “And don’t even get me started about that beautiful cock of yours. Jesus, Rafael.” She leaned down and kissed his sternum, then rested her chin there, on top of her hands. “Do you have any idea how rare it is to find a man who actually asks if they can change anything? Who waits for ME to climax?” She shook her head. “I know we’ve only done this a handful of times, but you’re pretty damn good.”

He laughed, a mixture of awkward and giddy, and ran his hands over her back. “I just want you to feel good, honey. If it’s not good for both of us, what’s the point?”

“I couldn’t believe you sucked my toe,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve never had anyone suck my toe before. That was amazing.”

“Yeah?” 

“Mmhmm. Shot straight to my clit.”

“Really?” He wound her hair around one of his fingers. “That is good to know for future reference.”

She smiled. “I thought it might be.” Stroking his chest again, she asked, “Are you satisfied? With me, I mean. Is there anything you’d like me to do differently? Something I’m not doing that you’d like for me to do? You treat me like a princess, Rafael...but I want you to be happy too...maybe stuff you want to try, or you like that we haven’t done, or---”

“I’m very happy,” he interrupted her. “I get to make love with a goddess.” 

“Please.” She rolled her eyes.

“‘Manda.” He cupped her face. “You are beautiful and I’m in love with you and completely giddy over it.” Stroking her cheeks, he said, “Of course I want to try all sorts of things with you, experience all sorts of things. But right now, this moment? This moment seems pretty perfect.”

She turned her head and kissed his hand. “You’re right, it is,” she told him. “It absolutely is.”

***

_ She had hung the dress in her closet immediately after getting home from purchasing it. She’d spent more than she usually would, but it was gorgeous and she couldn’t help but hope she’d wear it more than once. Plus, Rafael spent so much on her and the girls, it seemed the least she could do is be dressed appropriately for this party.  _

_ He’d been so cute when he’d asked her to go with him. It had reminded her of being asked to prom or homecoming. He’d blushed and played with her pinky finger while he’d held her hand and asked if she’d be willing to “accompany him”. When they had worked together, she’d always seen him as a cynical but brilliant attorney with a sarcastic streak a mile wide. She knew he was ridiculously smart and secretly admired his sarcasm, although she’d never admit it. She’d thought he was attractive but was certain he was gay, especially after Carisi joined the squad and she’d been witness to the two of them checking each other out on more than one occasion. She hadn’t seen his vulnerabilities then--his fear of letting victims down, his worries that he wouldn’t be enough for the people he loved--nor did she know of all the pain he’d lived through. The more she came to know him, the more she grew to respect him.  _

_ She’d gotten in the habit, after he’d leave in the evening, of climbing into bed fairly quickly and allowing herself to fantasize about their relationship. If she allowed herself to imagine anything, what would she want? She’d pictured them on vacations: Hawaii or Bermuda, and Disney with the girls. She could imagine him splashing with them in the pool or riding Dumbo with Jesse. She’d thought about them living together--him getting the girls their breakfast ready while she got them dressed. Attending school nights together for the girls. He’d proven himself--proven he was willing to do whatever she needed when it came to her daughters--and that he cared about them. _

_ And on rare nights when she really needed to feel secure, she thought about how he touched her, how different it was from every man she’d ever been with. The way he asked if she was ready before he entered her, the way he asked if she felt good when he was touching her, the way he told her she was beautiful and lovely and sexy, and that he loved her. The way he had cried out her name and that he loved her during climax multiple times now, as if loving her made the act even better for him. That he loved being in love with her. _

_ For years, her lovers had promised her nothing, and she had been okay with that. Nate. Nick. Declan. And more recently, Sonny and Al. But the more time she spent with Rafael, the more she was coming to realize it was okay to expect something. In fact, he expected her to expect something from him. He told her all the time that she was worthwhile and that she deserved the world. Could he be right? _

_ She thought of the dress in the closet, and as she planned her makeup and accessories, she thought about how important it felt to look like a million. For both of them. She wanted him to feel proud of her, but she also wanted him to know that he mattered to her. He deserved the world, too. _

***

He woke up to the soft caress of his nipples and a raging hard-on. He knew without even checking that he was leaking precum, and he wondered how long he’d been this way. He could see the light creeping in around the edges of the blinds. He suddenly realized Amanda was stroking his nipples around the same time he reached for his cock.

“Good morning,” she murmured into his ear, and he made a soft whine as he stroked himself once, twice. “You feel good, don’t you?”

“Mmhmm.” He was groggy, sleepy still, and let her gently maneuver him onto his back. Her thumbs ran over his nipples a couple more times before her tongue circled each one slowly, then sucked. He kept his eyes closed, wondering what she was planning next, but dropped his hand to his side. Amanda picked it up and lay it back on his cock.

“Keep doing that, stroking yourself,” she instructed, and hearing her words sent a flush of arousal to his groin. “Don’t stop yet.”

“Feels better when you do it,” he complained, but began to stroke himself again.

“Aw, look at how cooperative you can be,” she teased, then licked and sucked a spot low on his neck. He whined softly again, trying not to squirm against her and the pleasure shooting throughout his body. Then she was moving lower, randomly tugging his chest hair as she licked and sucked her way over his chest. “Your nipples are sensitive,” she remarked, tweaking one again. “So is your belly. Your skin gets hotter every time I kiss it.”

He hummed in response as she worked herself lower, finger-walking down his happy trail. “It’s more there,” he commented. “The happy trail…”

“Makes you happy?” They both laughed softly, and he opened his eyes to see her watching him carefully. As she kept her eyes on his, she caught his shaft in her hand. “You can let go now,” she told him. “I’ve got it.”

He exhaled slowly. “Yes you do,” he said and watched as she began to play with him. She held him up in her hand, seemingly examining him, and he felt his stomach clench with anxiety. “Everything okay?” he asked, trying to make a joke. “Find something interesting there?”

Kissing his tip, she smiled at him. “I’ve just never gotten to look at you before now. I want to see you is all. You’re beautiful.” With one finger, she traced a vein from the base to the tip, circling the head, then swiping over the slit. Hearing his soft moan, she glanced at him, smiled, then gently cupped his balls. “I love how you feel,” she said, massaging slowly. “Does that feel good? You like that?”

“Yeah.” He watched as she kissed his shaft, then his balls as she kept massaging him. A minute later he felt her fingers move down, massaging his perineum, and he gasped in surprise.

“That okay?” she asked as she kissed the head again.

“Yeah...yes…’sgood…” Feeling a dry finger suddenly circle his rim, he groaned again. “‘Manda...Jesus.”

She was sucking on his crown, circling it, as a finger continued to rub his rim, barely breaching him every few seconds. She swallowed him down then, beginning to bob up and down, and he felt his entire body clench in pleasure. “Yes, yes,” he heard himself moaning, and he settled a hand in her hair. “Heaven…’Manda...so good.” He thrust lightly into her mouth, and he felt her humming around him, the soft vibration teasing him even higher until he knew he couldn’t take any more. “”Manda...baby, gonna come...honey, gonna come, so close, fuck, ahh…” He thrust forward, giving in to the pleasure engulfing him, while she moved off the head and continued to stroke his shaft. She kept stroking him until his moans began to turn into soft whines of overstimulation, then she leaned forward and kissed the tip, lickiing it clean.

“”Manda,” he sighed, stroking her hair. He felt her kissing his thigh, then his hip, and made her way up to his face, then smiled and pecked his lips.

“Good morning to you,” she said pleasantly. “How do you feel?”

He sighed. “Pretty damn good.” His fingers ran through her hair again. “I love your hair,” he commented. “So soft and pretty. Just like you.” He gently pulled her toward him and kissed her again. “Soft and pretty.”

She tweaked his nipple, hard. “Not that soft,” she teased when he winced. “I’m no pushover.”

“No you’re not,” he agreed. “I can honestly say I’ve never thought of Amanda Rollins as a pushover.”

Looking satisfied, she pulled back and rested her head in her hand with her elbow on the bed. “That’s good to know.” She was gazing at him, a soft smile on her face. “I love you, Rafael. Thank you for taking me to that party last night...it’s not a typical Friday night for me.”

He leaned over and caught her hand in his, then kissed it. “Maybe we should change that,” he told her, “if you want.”

“It’s nice for a change,” she said. “But I’m also pretty fond of the Friday nights we spend sitting on my couch making out, or the Friday nights we’ve spent in your bed making love, or the Friday nights we’ve spent hanging out with the kids, or---”

He kissed her. “Friday nights with you are fun. No matter what.” He kissed her cheek. “I spent so many Friday nights at Forlini’s, drinking and bemoaning my existence.” He kissed her hand again. “I don’t feel that way anymore. I know some of it is the change in career, but I can’t help but think some of it is you, too, Amanda...you’ve brought light into a man who used to live in a lot of darkness.”

She stared at him for a moment, then squeezed his hand. “So poetic,” she teased, then kissed his hand back. “I get it,” she replied, voice quiet. “It’s mutual, believe me. People at work keep asking me when I let the sunshine in. They’re accusing me of  _ smiling. _ ” They both chuckled, then she pressed her forehead to his. “Falling in love with you is pretty incredible,” she said softly. “You make me feel safe...safe with you.”

“Same.” His lips brushed hers. “Being with you...it’s heaven.”

“So sweet,” she teased lightly. “And here I thought that was the orgasm.” He quickly tickled her side until she burst into laughter, and as her fingers danced over his stomach, he joined her.

***

He dropped his duffel bag on the floor by the door, toed off his shoes, and collapsed on his couch. It had been a fantastic night. He couldn’t recall the last time he had such a fun, sexy time with a lover. His body was sore but in the best of ways, and he knew he’d be finding small bruises all over for days. He closed his eyes and immediately saw her in his lap, moving frantically, and his cock twitched at the memory. 

For a moment he envisioned them living together in his apartment, the girls making themselves at home here, in a bachelor’s pad with all the modern conveniences. He could picture Jesse breaking every remote and Billie chewing on the fine wood of his coffee table. And Jesse’s artwork would be all over his fridge, and there would be family photos of the four of them in the living area, and Billie’s high chair would be at the kitchen table. There would be juice boxes and applesauce and string cheese next to the pinot grigio and the grapes and that stinky cheese he’d gotten talked into buying at the market. And Amanda’s clothes would be next to his in the closet, and there would be floral-scented bodywash and perfume next to his...and at night, after they’d gotten the girls to sleep, they’d curl up together in bed and talk while they held each other. They’d make love and sometimes it would be soft and sweet, and sometimes it would be fun and sexy, and sometimes it would be needy and desperate, but it would always be loving. And they’d fall asleep knowing no matter what, that they loved each other…

He shook his head, clearing the fantasy from his brain. It was a fantasy, after all. People didn’t live that way, he told himself. He loved Amanda, and she said she loved him, but people and feelings can change. He didn’t know anyone who still loved their partner like they had when they first got together. It was a fairytale. Wasn’t it?

He lay down on the couch, resting his feet at the end in the pillows. Whether it was or wasn’t, he liked to think about it either way. Wouldn’t it be something if happily ever after really could happen to a middle-aged, dad-bodied, law professor? Wouldn’t it be?


End file.
